OP

out of place.

Minsan talaga di ko na alam kung saan ako lulugar e.

sa barkada.
sa pamilya.

la e. olats.
One time talaga lalabas ako at mamasyal ng ako lang, para walang magulo. Tsk.

Paper stars.

Ohhh, the pain of doing these paper stars!

I remember back in grade school we had a project to fill up a glass jar with these paper stars. At first, it's actually fun doing---these stars are really cute! The thing is, back in the day, those paper strips (those you can just buy from an art store these days) didn't exist, so we had to literally measure and cut paper strips before we can even get to the fun part of folding and making it look 3D!

I remember literally rolling up paper scraps just to finish that friggin' project. Haha!

Well now that I have more patience, and there's no need to manually make paper strips, I have a goal of making a lot of these.
I mean a lot.

I still don't know when and how to start but, at least I don't have to stress about its deadline. I'll make history! lol. ;)

Picture taken from http://www.allthingspaper.net

One year.

Ohh. The church's annual carnival is here.

That means it's been a year since the day you decided to end what we had.

Time flies, fast.

A bad combination.

I did something stupid exactly a week ago.

Didn't have enough sleep + my period + runny rose + emotions and other stuffs I've been keeping to myself + a banned beer.

It was a friend's birthday and there was a beer pong session going on. I watched and didn't have any plan of joining because I didn't know how and I will be driving home. Still, stupid me ended up playing because I was asked to join and somehow, I wanted to try. I was thinking, "How bad can it be? It's just beer."
I ignored the fact that it is a banned brand of beer.

So we played and I couldn't even shoot at least once. It was embarrassing to them, and especially to my game partner. Sheesh.

Everything in sight started to become shaky and slowmo. I felt like I was floating. I actually liked it. It's been a while since the last time I felt something like that.
Honestly, I was aware of everything that was happening. It's just that, for some reason, I can't control myself and it felt good to open up and say out loud what I was thinking.

Oh, have I mentioned that HE was there?

Yea, it was stupid... I was stupid. I even said something stupid to make him feel bad but, I was careless not to put in mind that I would actually hurt somebody else's feelings. Up to now, I still don't know how I'd approach that person.
Next time, I have to remind myself not to drink if I have too much going on inside my head. Or at least I should just go drink alone like how I've always been used to.
Ah, what a mess. I'm a mess.

Nakakagago pala...

... basahin yung mga post ko sa blog four years ago.

HAHAHAHA LECHE. :)) Bakit ko ba naisipang basahin ang mga yon.

Naloka ako sa puppy-etchos-love story namin ni PersLab. :))

Napapa- "Oo nga noh, ginawa palan namin yun! O_O" ako sa mga nabasa ko.

Lalabas labas pa kami ng 12 midnight a, pakalat-kalat sa loob ng subdivision.

hahaha PU-toot I-toot!!! Nakakatawa na may halong kilig to the bones!

Sakto pa sa mga tugtog sa playlist e, hayoooop.

Oh well, wala nga talagang tatalo sa Unang Pag-Ibig.

Tas maiisip ko bigla,

Kailan nga ba kami huling nag-usap? :-/ Aaaah, nung sinita niya yung status ko sa YM. Wag daw ako mura ng mura. Pangit daw sa isang babae. Woops, sorry pala sa title ng entry na to. Hahaha!

Oooh, sarap. ~

Coincidence? Fate?

I went to church today alone because Mom still didn't have enough strength to do so.
I ran, jaywalked, and ran again from home because I was running late (did a lot of cleaning in the house today, phew).
I was able to get to church as fast as five minutes.

Mass went on, and took the communion.
I said my prayer as I was kneeling and had my eyes closed.
I opened my eyes, stood up, and randomly scanned the people on my far right.
Someone caught my eye.

He was there standing.
What a coincidence that I've just mentioned him in my prayers.

While looking at the crucifix, I thought to myself...
Dear God, you're playing a little joke on me again :)

Then randomly again, I looked behind me and saw this one guy wearing a shirt with two big letters on it.
"AE" Yeah, American Eagle. Oh well, that's his (the one who caught my eye) frigging initials.
Wow really?! Nice -___-.

I don't know, it was weird. Hahaaaay.
I don't wanna go back to "us" anymore. I'm not brave and strong enough to go through this again.
Oh, there was an announcement about the church carnival. It reminded me that it's been a year since the first time you tried to let go of me. So many wasted chances.
NC, this also reminds me of our "coincidence" day two years ago. :(

Lame.

Year | Number of Blog Entries (as of the moment):

2006: 2 posts - uhh, WTF?! I'm that I ain't wasting any paper on blog entries, right?

2007: 64 posts - nice :D

2008: 18 posts - hmm, k.

2009: 43 posts - aight! ;)

2010: 6 - really?! O_O

2011: 6 - no seriously, REALLY?! o____O

Hmm. This blog has becoming lame-ER and lame-ER than ever.

I gotta post more, to at least remind myself of my mistakes so I won't lose their lessons.

I have a story to tell tomorrow; or at least something to vent out.

Yeah, tomorrow...it's too much to write about as of the moment.

Too sensitive and too saddening.

One day.

One day,

I won't look back.

I won't miss you.

I won't even remember your name.

One day, one day.

You'll see.

Stupid me.

!@#$%^&*!@#$#@%$#^%!!!

At this very moment, I am supposed to be somewhere else and about to experience something life-changing.

Stupid me who wasted so much time, money, and high expectations.

Aaaah!!!! Somewhere else... like in a different continent.

I'm...invisible?!

Damn. I never knew that I can be invisible...until now.

Coz' I thought showing how much I care would be appreciated.

I could have just stayed home and took a rest; I already had a bad and long day anyway.

Oh well, people always change as time goes by.

Haist. What a shitty day.

It used to be a ______ ... it used to be.

Your Insensitivity Level

Hey.

I'd really appreciate it if you'll tone down your insensitivity level a little bit.

Thanks.

Showing your interest on (an)other girl(s) right on my face doesn't really help me move on...rather, you continue building this invisible wall between us. I mean, wtf?! That's like a punch on the face.

You're annoying af.

Akala. Iba na pala.

Akala ko, okay lang ako kahit hindi na niya ako pansinin.

Akala ko kasi, okay lang ako kahit hindi na kaming dalawa yung laging magkadikit...magkasama.

Akala ko, kaya ko na siyang harapin at ipamukha sa kanya na okay na ako.

Akala ko kasi, okay na talaga ako.

Akala ko, kahit na magsisisigaw pa siya ng pangalan ng ibang babae, okay na lang ako...yung tipong, wala lang talaga sa akin.

Akala ko kasi, kaya kong hindi na sa akin umiikot ang mundo niya.

Iba na pala kapag andyan na sa harap mo yang mga pangyayari at mga bagay na yan.

Iba na pala pag ikaw na mismo ang nakakakita, nakakarinig, at nakakaramdam ng mga bagay na yan.

Napakalayo talaga ng akala at ng realidad, kasi sa huli, lahat ng mga inakala at sinabi ko sa sarili ko ay kinain ko ding lahat.

Pain.

I failed.

I showed him again how vulnerable I am.

It's confusing when you want to get over pain, but not the memories that cause pain.

Hmm.