mouth is shut, mind is screaming.

I've been quiet nowadays, but I can't help but let my mind scream.

Yesterday was a downfall.
I had another argument with Mom. As usual, it was same problem.
I was trying to hold back every tear yesterday, then when they decided to go out to buy something, as soon as they closed the door.. I stopped doing my homework and began to cry.
I cried silently for a moment. Then I washed my face with cold water, just like someone told me to do after done crying.

It felt hopeless yesterday; it was the first time that I felt I've got no one left to run to.
No one but God.

I slept early, though I cried a little before getting into a deep sleep.
I learned something new, to cry silently.
I've always been a crybaby all my life. It could still change, I hope.
---
I felt weak today. But I did not let what happened to interfere with my performance inside the classroom. But my Biology teacher noticed something is wrong.

---
It's funny how they say how brave I am to some sort of things, but I have to tell you..
I really am afraid of everything.
Now, I'm afraid of meeting new people again.
I'm afraid to have this kind of feeling again.
---

"It's hard to find precious gems in places like this."
No one left, but God.
No more. No more.

_pishbolera.
.. from attachments to detachments.